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Missing Woman Colorado

Come with CMarie to a bend in the river. Nearby, a couple spread out a blanket. A dog chases after a ball. The river brings things, and the river carries things away.

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This episode takes place on Diné Bikéyah and Ute homelands.

Host and Writer: CMarie Fuhrman Field Recordist: Jacob Job Outdoor audio recorded in Rocky Mountain National Park, Colorado Editor: Erin Jones Producers: Rebekah Romberg, Kibwe Cooper Engineer: Luis Antonio Perez Art: Maria Juliana Pinzón Executive Producer: Brad Turner Additional Editorial Support: Jo Erickson, Emily Williams Thanks also to Jodi Gersh, Clara Shelton, Arielle Wilson, Brittany Werges, Martin Skavish, Justin Peacock and Jon Pinnow

Terra Firma is a production of Colorado Public Radio's Audio Innovations Studio.

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This time, to the Gunnison River of Colorado.

[Gentle water flowing, bird song] You might come here on a Tuesday. To this trail, to this bench, to this place where the willows and sand and gravel meet the edge of history: Yours, and the river’s.&nbsp;

It’s the end of something. Or the beginning. And you need a place that is reserved. Reserved, not in the sense of “just for you,” but reserved as in “holding back a little.” As in, reserved just for this. A place to watch from [birds calling]. So you can see, as you do now, the child in her red jacket. The lilac skirt as it flutters against the woman’s knees. Birds whose names you promised to learn [insistent, distinctive bird call] but have yet to find the time to do so, and it aches you to know that you have put this simple task so far down now, so far down on the to-do list [water gets louder].

And there goes the dog chasing the stick that the water has worn smooth. For a moment you bound along with her, your own fur bouncing and think that maybe it’s finally time for another dog. You remember that joy of watching wagging. Of the welcome home. Yes, maybe it is time. You lean back against the bench thinking about time, and the dog runs from your view and is soon forgotten or forsaken like the water bowl you placed on the shelf in the closet. It hurt so much to lose that last dog [water flowing].&nbsp;

You are far enough from the river to see it as an owl might, as the past might, as history has always seen this river. It is early evening. The summer heat is pressing – more pressing than you remember from your younger days on the river. Before the dams. You wonder if, sitting here, you breathe the exhalations of fish. Of trout. You ask, are there salmon in this river? The alders answer. The cottonwood answers. And their answer is enough [babbling water, endless chirps of birds].

You draw a circle with your toe and watch the earth fall in. You wish your scuffing would uncover an arrowhead. You long to find one. Not because your pockets are empty but because holding something like an arrowhead helps you remember that others have come here for centuries and have left their wisdom. And, like those before, you want to leave something of value. Something useful. To not be forgotten. Something that someone might uncover with an “oh” and remember what it feels like to be filled again with wonder and mystery and curiosity – something that brings them to their knees in search of more. You think you may have something in common with the person who left that arrowhead. Maybe it is a love of rivers. Maybe they, too, liked the smell of wet rocks and cottonwood resin.

What is it about the side of a river that has brought so much pause, so much contemplation? A couple spreads a quilt on the sand and lies down. In your mind, you lie down, too.&nbsp;&nbsp;

When you were small, you thought that rivers were meant to take things away. The stick you threw, the ball, that plaything you let go of. You saw the floods. The house carried away. The logs, the road. You saw the fish float from a baited hook. Even the snow and ice were carried down, down.&nbsp;

But if the river can take, can it also bring back? The river and memory brought you here.&nbsp;&nbsp;

And now the clouds must be gathering. Or perhaps the sun has dropped below the horizon, or you are just growing older and tired, but it is darker. You rise and walk finally to the river’s edge. You see the sky reflected there. The blue of it. The light left shimmering in it. The children have gone home for their suppers. The lovers have moved back into the trees. In the distance, a dog barks and the dog and the lovers and the child in the red jacket and even the woman in the lilac skirt were never there at all [the sound of the river and birds stop]. This is why you have come to the river. You and these memories. You and history. You and this river on a weeknight and you and every river you have ever known. Ever loved. [Sounds of water and birds slowly fade back in] The river is all the life you wanted to be part of. All the history you ARE a part of. You’ve come to remember and be carried away. You long be useful and beautiful and to have shores that would gather others to dream, to love, to play.&nbsp;

The river is still here. And it is not too late. Take off your shoes. Your coat will be on the bench where you leave it. We will all be here with you, all of history, arrowheads pressed into our palms, dogs at our sides, wading together into the gush of water, feeling the smooth of stones skipped for centuries, the salmon returning and bringing us together like pebbles into a redd. Gathering throughout history as community, family, and kin. Holding on to one another – here at this bend in the river and with all the river brings.

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Terra Firma is a podcast about the outdoors, the sounds of the natural world and our place in it. Each episode runs about 5-10 minutes and pairs reflections on nature with gorgeous soundscapes captured in wild places.

Terra Firma

CMarie visits a river that brings things, and the river carries things away.

This Bend in the River (Gunnison River, Colorado) | Colorado Public Radio

This Bend in the River (Gunnison River, Colorado)

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Terra Firma is a podcast about the outdoors, the sounds of the natural world and our place in it. Each episode runs about 5-10 minutes and pairs reflections on nature with gorgeous soundscapes captured in wild places.

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This Bend in the River (Gunnison River, Colorado)

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